R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Just got off the phone with another dissatisfied customer, yelling at me because someone else screwed up. I'm starting to get mighty tired of that happening. In fact, none of the times I've been yelled at in this job have been my fault. Customers yelling at me is the result of one of two things: 1) People in the company not doing what they said they were going to do or just plain screwing up or 2) The system being overly bureaucratic. Neither of these things are my fault, but I get yelled at anyway.

Did I mention I'm starting to get sick of that shit?

I've discovered something interesting about myself. I value respect. That is, it is important to me that people respect me. I didn't feel like my students (or anyone) respected me when I taught, and I don't feel the people I deal with on a daily basis now respect me. And that really bothers me. A lot. I guess I'm selfish, or prideful, or something, but I need to have respect. I'm afraid I'm gonna snap and start yelling back one of these days. Actually, I've heard my supervisor do that. Well, not yell, but definitely be more brusque than usual. The next motherfucker who calls in being a smart ass will feel the lash of my tongue. Eh, maybe not.

Another thought occurred to me just now -- when I was teaching, one of the first questions I asked my students is what they wanted from their classroom environment. They all said "respect". My reaction to that was always, "Yeah, but what does that mean?" Guess I know now.