Last chance saloon

We interrupt this regularly scheduled bulletin about Star Trek to bring you the following news...

1) Went and looked at the place Mikey found via his friend. It is -- and I'm not exaggerating -- hella tight. Normally, I don't use the adjective hella. But this place warrants it. It's, like, a house. A frickin' huge house at that. A super sweet living room, a ginormous kitchen (with a dishwasher), big-ass bedrooms, free (i.e., no coin-op) laundry in the basement, carpeting ... what more could a guy ask for? This place is so fucking awesome, it's hella awesome. And at $400/month (if we can get some guy named Tom to come in with us), it's hella hella awesome.

2) Went in for an interview at the good ol' Providence school district. Whilst waiting for my interview, some schmo came in and gathered all the English teachers together. He told us that there were two possiiblities for us -- two full-time positions at Central or Nathaniel Greene, or long-term subbing. Returning to the aforementioned worst-school-ever-conceived-by-man as a full-time teacher doesn't exactly appeal to me. Nor does being a long-term sub. Then I realized that Providence in general doesn't appeal to me. So I left without waiting around to interview.

Now, here comes the "last chance saloon" part. When I got back, I went to the Sci-Li (where I am now) and checked my email. At this point, I'd pretty much resigned myself to getting a job as ... well, anything. Then I saw this email from the secretary in the Education department entitled, "high school English teacher". Hmm. Turns out there's an opening at this groovy Essential school called Blackstone Academy. I called. I have an interview tomorrow morning. This, ladies and gents, is my last chance at teaching for the upcoming year. That's all I'm gonna say about it, because I don't want to jinx it.

I've been thinking a lot about not teaching. Specifically, about not teaching in the traditional sense. I just can't see myself standing in front of a room full of 25-30 kids for 50 minutes at a time. I rationalize this feeling by saying that eucation doesn't work that way. The sooner people in this country realize that, the better. While that's true, really it just doesn't feel like me. When I envision myself teaching like that, it's not me I see up there. It's some person wearing a David suit doing and saying things that I don't want to do or say. So if this thing at Blackstone doesn't pan out, I'm finding another field to work in for the time being. I say that with some trepidation because there are two people whose opinion means a lot to me. One is my mother, and I already talked to her about this. I should've realized she'd be ok, since the Jewish mother's motto is "whatever makes you happy". The other one is Katie. Her I'm a little more worried about. I worry she'll think I'm quitting or giving up because of my experience at Central. I won't deny that Central certainly had a negative effect on how I view teaching -- specifically, me teaching. But even if Central was the best-run traditional school in the country, it would still be some guy in a David suit at the front of the class. That's not who I am nor is it who I want to be. I see myself five years from now at that kind of work doing better, yes, more used to the routines, but hating it and myself. Dreading waking up in the morning. Driving slower on the way to the school so I can postpone the inevitable for a little while longer. I can't do that.

So, Katie, I hope you understand. Your support means a lot to me.