The T.S. Eliot syndrome

Once again, BoingBoing provides a link to make ya think. Apparently, my favorite science-fiction author, Orson Scott Card, is a raging motherfucker, at least with regards to his views on homosexuality. I guess it's impossible to be a really good author and a nice guy at the same time.

I still think Speaker for the Dead is great. And I'm pretty sure its homophobia-free.

Dgcopter -- shamelessly stealing links from BoingBoing since 2004.

Rules for writing

Thanks to BoingBoing for this super-groovy link. It's a list of 10 rules for writers, and I like it a lot because it reflects what I like to see in books that I read.

It revolves around the idea that the writer should be invisible, which is something I've always thought (the term I used in my head was "transparent"), and which is the quality I most highly value in novels I read for fun. I think that's a big part of why I like (good) science-fiction -- no respectable science-fiction writer will butt in and start describing everything to you. The characters have to make sense of it all, and as they do, so does the reader. Actually, I've been reading a bunch of Arthur C. Clarke recently, and he does use a lot more description than dialogue, but it works because it seems almost like a monologue rather than ... well, writing.

I'm especially fond of rule #10: "Try to leave out the parts that readers tend to skip".

Think you could use this, Ms. Mynx? Maybe teach the kiddies to not sound like jackasses when they write? By the way, I'm still laughing about "What if more beer and no pool". It's sad, but hilarious.

Perhaps when commentthis starts working again, I'll be able to hear y'all's comments. Stupid commentthis...

All together now...

Ms. Mynx recently posted a link (in one of her comments here) to some guy talking about education and teaching and such. I thought it'd be fun if I gave the link it's own post so everybody could get in on the conversation, so here goes. Check it. Comment away.

My thoughts: There are a lot of reasons why "nick"'s views could be considered unrealistic -- especially in a traditional high school setting. When you have to "teach" 120 students on a pre-determined curriculum and have little freedom to change things, you're damn right it's unrealistic to think you can reach every student. However, there's nothing unrealistic about the need to reach every student. In fact, it's basically a necessity of any public education system. That's what "public" education means -- education for the public, or everyone. However, I don't think it's fair of "Noreen" to say that, unless you reach the most disinterested and hardened bastard of a student in your class, you're not a good teacher. It may not be possible for you personally to reach every student in your class (especially under the conditions of most public high schools), but that doesn't mean you can't have some imperceptible effect on them that won't manifest until years later.

One day, I think Noreen will realize that you can't go into teaching expecting to be "The One" for all of your students. It won't happen. You aren't everybody's personal Jesus Christ. The only time you see Jaime Escalante-esque results is in the movies (and it's important to remember that "Stand & Deliver" leaves out the fact that Escalante had another teacher helping him). Well, sometimes you see them in real life, too. But they happen rarely enough that you shouldn't expect them to be the standard for your teaching experience.

In short, it's a hard motherfucking job, and extremely frustrating on a regular basis. Which is probably why I don't do it anymore.

One other thing, Ms. Mynx: Nick and Noreen are talking about a very different type of teaching than what you do, you know. Teach For America (which, as Noreen briefly stated, is evil-by-accident) deals with the most extremely difficult and frustrating schools you could ever encounter. I am amazed at how many people actually say they enjoy doing it. I think it's because TFA brainwashes the people that work for them. In any case, the bastards you, Mynxie, teach are there because they choose to be. They're paying to come to your school, for chrissake. If they want to be shitty, that's their problem, not yours. Oh, and I think you should bring Potatoes with you to a class sometime in case any of those scumbags try to hit on you again. Just have him sit at the front of the room, dressed all in black and glaring at your students throughout the class. That'll keep 'em in line.

On a semi-related note, I had a dream last night that Ms. Singer (that's my high school English teacher, for those of you who don't know) was teaching me how to be a teacher. We spent the entire lesson going over how to take attendance. It was the best teaching lesson I ever had. At the end of it, I said to her, "Thank you so much for teaching me this; we never learned how to do it and it always bothered me. I'm so glad I know how to do it right now." I think this is a reflection of my feeling that, despite all the cool books and great discussions I had during my teacher training, I never learned the essentials of how to be a teacher. That is, how to get along with people, how to form relationships, how to build rapport, etc. etc... All of that still eludes me.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Just got off the phone with another dissatisfied customer, yelling at me because someone else screwed up. I'm starting to get mighty tired of that happening. In fact, none of the times I've been yelled at in this job have been my fault. Customers yelling at me is the result of one of two things: 1) People in the company not doing what they said they were going to do or just plain screwing up or 2) The system being overly bureaucratic. Neither of these things are my fault, but I get yelled at anyway.

Did I mention I'm starting to get sick of that shit?

I've discovered something interesting about myself. I value respect. That is, it is important to me that people respect me. I didn't feel like my students (or anyone) respected me when I taught, and I don't feel the people I deal with on a daily basis now respect me. And that really bothers me. A lot. I guess I'm selfish, or prideful, or something, but I need to have respect. I'm afraid I'm gonna snap and start yelling back one of these days. Actually, I've heard my supervisor do that. Well, not yell, but definitely be more brusque than usual. The next motherfucker who calls in being a smart ass will feel the lash of my tongue. Eh, maybe not.

Another thought occurred to me just now -- when I was teaching, one of the first questions I asked my students is what they wanted from their classroom environment. They all said "respect". My reaction to that was always, "Yeah, but what does that mean?" Guess I know now.

So close ... yet so far ...

This makes me sad. Finally, the coolest video game music ever is going to be live in concert (and in the US), but it's on the other side of the country. Why can't they tour like a rock band? Mother fuckers.

I smell a conspiracy

In order for this to make sense, you'll need to know that both Idiot Boy and my boss are Christians. Devout ones, I think. I know IB is 'cuz he told me. Did I ever tell you that story? For those of you who haven't heard it, it goes like this:

Me (after difficult phone call): Jesus Christ!
IB: Uh, Dave?
Me: Yeah?
IB: I'm a Christian, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't take the Lord's name in vain.
Me: Um, ok. Sorry. (Thinking to self) Hey, IB? I'm a reasonably intelligent guy, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't do stupid shit all the time.

So there's that. And I suspect that the boss is fairly devout, too, because I've seen prayer cards and pictures of various saints and whatnot on his desk (does that make him Catholic? eh, whatever).

Well, IB's idiocy has struck again, this time in a really heinous and time-consuming (for me) way. I'll skip the details, because they're incredibly boring if you don't do my job, but suffice it to say that, because IB erroneously faxed some information to a company, that company is paying for something they shouldn't be paying for. As a result, the effected employee has to pay a bill and then submit that bill for reimbursement to the right company. Needless to say, the employee was none to happy about this, and decided to take out her frustration on me. So I spent the first hour of my day getting yelled at by one person or another, all because IB fucked up. Majorly.

So I tell my supervisor, who is, herself, fed up with IB fucking up all the time. She decides to tell the boss to do something about him, because he's really becoming a menace. Boss calls him into his office, five minutes later, IB's out and back on the phones, looking none the worse for wear.

This is why I think there's a Christian conspiracy in my office. How in the hell can IB get off with just a slap on the wrist after fucking up so many goddam times? I think they used some kind of secret Christian handshake, smoked a couple of cigars, had a good laugh at the thought of me burning in hell for all eternity, and went back to their respective businesses. The only thing that makes me think there might not be a conspiracy is the fact that I was hired permanently, and IB still hasn't been. If that weren't true, I think I might have to quit this job. Or at least get transferred to another department -- one that isn't controlled by Christians, hopefully.

Jesus fucking Christ.


P.S., after IB told me not to "blaspheme", I actually did stop violating the second commandment (I had to look up which commandment that was). However, IB continued to do stupid shit. I feel cheated.

Lyric quest

I've been trying to find the lyrics to "Swinging Belleville Rendezvous", the fun old-timey song featured in "The Triplets of Belleville". Finally found 'em in this entry on some French dude's blog. You'll notice that he doesn't have the lyrics to the refrain, which is partly in English. Translated, his comments why:

"Having not found the words, the part in English was censored. Anyway, English sucks, long live France. In short, it goes like this: 'lalala rendezvous ... doobidoo'"

How do you like my translation of "doubidou"? I also find it amusing that neither the poster nor the commenters (all French folk, one presumes) understand any of the French lyrics. If my French hasn't lapsed too much, I think the first commenter suggests starting a club devoted solely to figuring out what the hell they mean. I guess this song is like the French equivalent of Radiohead or something.

Fortunately, all the lyrics can be found in one of the comments below, along with a link to a video clip of the song, I think -- couldn't actually watch it here at work.

Damn the man!

Just read an op-ed piece in my alma mater's school paper that really pleased me. Check it. I've wanted to write something like this for a long time, but I never could find the words. Although this piece only talks about one particular class, the same could be said about a (surprisingly) large number of courses at Brown. It's a really sad state of affairs. Just because you've got a Ph.D. behind your name doesn't make you exempt from being a good teacher. No matter how fondly John Nash is portrayed in Beautiful Mind.

Quoi?

Had a loverly V-Day with the lady. Ate some fancy-sounding (though rather plain-looking) food, drank some champagne, etc. Also saw a crazy French animated flick yesterday called "The Triplets of Belleville" (or "Belleville Rendezvous" if you prefer). Man, was it crazy. I won't try to summarize the plot, but it involved the Tour de France, the French Mafia, and a really fat dog, not to mention a copious amount of frog eating. Oh, and swingin' music, which I downloaded when I got home. You should go see it, just so we can talk about it. It has some pretty funny moments. And the dog is hella cute. Oh, and by the way, Katie, remember how I said I thought the movie should've ended? Well, check this out. Booya!

My favorite webcomic, RPG World, is reaching a climax (again)! I'm excited.

Strange thing I've read recently: An opening stage direction from "Death of a Salesman". Willy's entering, and some flute music is playing. "He hears it but is not aware of it." What the hell does that mean? How does an actor convey that?

Michael Crichton hates the Japanese

Just read "The Rising Sun" at work over the past couple of days -- because I've run out of science fiction and it was the only book on the communal bookshelf that wasn't by Danielle Steele. The movie, made a few years ago, was kind of a murder mystery/political thriller deal featuring Sean Connery as some dude who knows all there is to know about the Japanese and Wesley Snipes as his smarmy sidekick. Lots of talk about honor and saving face and bowing and so forth. It didn't occur to me until my freshman year at Brown that that movie was ... well, Orientalist. I had a brief conversation about it with my roommate at the time, who was Japanese.

Me: So, you ever see that "Rising Sun" movie?

Roommate: Dude, that movie is complete horseshit.

The book is even worse.

Michael Crichton, it seems, has lots of problems with the Japs. He's super paranoid. He thinks they're taking over the country. Literally. And he thinks Americans are too stupid to realize it. If you ever have a moment, and if you want a good companion novel to Edward Said's "Orientalism", check out "Rising Sun". Crazy shit.

And Crichton might've worried me, if it weren't for this site. Check out "Hyakugojuuichi" if you haven't seen it already, then watch "Earth vs. Funk". Then read the accompanying guides to get all the crazy jokes the author threw in. Then marvel at the fact that he's in his teens.

More important stuff...

Maybe I'm the last to know about this, but here goes ...

Check this out. Who'd've thunk it? Bill O'Reilly actually admitted he made a mistake, instead of yelling at Al Franken like he always does.

The Christians stole my website

In other fun link news, if you go to this site, whose URL is eerily similar to mine, you end up at some Christian deal. Maybe I should tell Idiot Boy about this.

Oh, and speaking of Christian stuff, I'm totally seeing "The Passion" when it comes out in a few weeks. Because I want to know why all the Christians I work with will hate me because I'm Jewish.

Teens can be funny, too

It's good to check newgrounds every once in a while, 'cuz the young'uns occasionally come up with some pretty funny stuff. Like this, and this. And when you're done with those, you can blow/shoot shit up, or play games involving hot anime babes.

Christ. Five days and all I can come up with is links to Newgrounds. I've hit a new low.

Beef ... it's what's for dinner.

More thoughts on "Fast Food Nation".

I went into the book expecting it to be a kind of vegetarian propaganda -- an update of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle" outlining everything wrong with the business of producing and consuming meat. Well, it's not actually that. Yes, it does spend some time discussing some pretty messed up stuff with beef processing, but not with the actual raising of the cattle or the concept of eating meat. Basically, the author's beef (tee hee) with "Big Beef" is focused mainly on their lack of concern for the public's health -- they have adamantly opposed any effort to make their product safer, including opposing OSHA regulations and federal mandates to monitor beef for the E Coli bacteria. Plus, they pay their workers shit wages, falsify injury records, and fire people if they get injured on the job (which is fairly common in a slaughterhouse, what with the sharp knives and all). The descriptions of the slaughterhouses and processing plants make you think, "Shit, I'm glad I don't work there" rather than, "I'm never eating a hamburger again". Oh, and you'll probably think twice before eating a hamburger rare (or even medium-rare).

Beyond that, though, the author doesn't really have a problem with people eating beef. In fact, in the epilogue, he praises "In-N-Out Burger", a fast-food chain in California, as a prime example of how fast-food should be -- clean, more-or-less natural and tasty, and independent. His biggest complaints are more about how America has lost touch with its rugged individualistic past and how McDonald's is taking over the world. There's a very interesting (and kind of funny) part in which McDonald's sued a Greenpeace group in London for libel (which is much easier to do in England, since their libel/slander laws place much of the burden on the defendent). Seems they were distributing pamphlets that asserted that McDonald's was doing everything from destroying the rainforest to exploiting children to causing heart disease. Most of the Greenpeace'ers just apologized and moved on. Two decided to fight, compiling thousands of pages of documentation proving their claims. As of the writing of the book, the fight was still going on in some European high court. It's been going on 12+ years. Not bad for a couple of hippies who taught themselves how to be lawyers.

In short, Fast Food Nation reads more like "Bowling for Columbine" than something PETA would distribute. It's an interesting read and seems highly researched, but I find it a bit overly sentimental at times.

This is Oprah Winfrey, signing off.

You want some fries with that?

Now reading: Fast Food Nation. Because I've succumbed to liberal peer-pressure.

Actually, it's a pretty interesting read. It starts out with a kind of narrative of Carl Karcher's (the eventual founder/owner of Hardee's) life, which reads like Ben Franklin's autobiography. Lots of depression-era philosophy and peculiar optimism in the face of adversity. That is, "work hard and you'll make it eventually". And he did work hard -- he would work 12+ hours a day at his first restaurants, spending the evening hours mopping the floors and cleaning the place up. Oh, and he drove an ambulance in WWII -- with Walt Disney, oddly enough, whose life story also gets featured in the grand narrative of the rise of fast food. While I was reading this advertisement for the American Dream, I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And drop it does, starting with Disney's penchant for hiring ex-Nazis to build sections of his themeparks and busting up (literally) striking animators. This all gets tied in to fast food when Disney and McDonald's team up to "synergize". You know, putting Disney toys in happy meals and such.

Anyway, seems like an interesting read. Something Ralph Nader probably creams in his jeans over. Oh, and there's a part about how corporate interests have taken over schools, which is kinda fun in a disturbing way. Apparently, Exxon created a curriculum for social studies teachers that taught that using fossil fuels "has no negative environmental impact" and that "alternative sources of energy are too expensive and impractical". But what's a school to do when it has to rely on contributions from Exxon, Pepsi, and the like just so they can buy textbooks?