One last thing

Ok, I promise this is my last politically-themed post. Unless something else both political and nonsensical happens again.

As you may have heard, news of John "The Pride of Missouri" Ashcroft's resignation broke today. I was walking into work when I found out. Coincidentally, all the TVs in my office used to be tuned to Fox News. Around election time, they all changed to CNN and have stayed that way. Hmm...

Anyway, the crawler got my attention. It said something like, "Ashcroft resigns: states 'goal of securing Americans from terror has been achieved.'" "Really?" I thought to myself. That sounds odd. So I looked up the whole story. Sure enough, the following can be found in his resignation letter:

"The demands of justice are both rewarding and depleting. I take great personal satisfaction in the record which has been developed. The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved."

Huh. I guess we won that pesky war on terror thing. And the war on crime as well! Remember the days when there was crime? Man, that sucked, huh? Thank goodness we can all finally turn in our firearms and leave our doors unlocked all day.