Dreams this weird need to be shared

Check this shit out:

Remember the red-haired bully kid in "A Christmas Story"? Can't remember the character's name...Farkus or something? Well, a guy who looked like him was coming after me. But his name was Kaye, which is pronounced like the letter "K" (i.e., "kay"), but I kept thinking it should be pronounced "KAH-yay". It was really bugging me. While he was tormenting me. How exactly he was tormenting me is unclear, but I think it was kind of a mental torture. Kind of like how the real harm a bully does to you isn't the physical beating, but the mental anguish. Well, eventually I got sick of it, so I called the police or something, and Kaye ended up in jail. So he calls me from jail, crying and pleading for us to make up and be friends, because he doesn't want to keep fighting anymore. My response was (and I quote), "How do I know you're not just fucking with me?". Well, he keeps crying and shit, so I eventually relent and agree to meet him. My parents think this is a bad idea, that he's just putting on an act so he can get close to me to continue his psychic torture.

...And that's about where it ends. Two things are for certain: 1) Kaye is a cool name, and will be the name of my first child; 2) There is a French word pronounced in the same way I thought Kaye's name should be pronounced. It's "cahier", which means "notebook". *Cue Twilight Zone music*

Sharon (my ladyfriend) taught me how to do Sudoku puzzles the right way (as opposed to just trial and error, which is how I thought you were supposed to do 'em...what can I say, I'm a dumbass), and now I am addicted. Not quite as bad as my addiction to WoW, but pretty bad.