Ya damne righte

And now, because I'm an English geek (and you should be, too):

The theme song to Shaft if Chaucer had written it. I actually printed this out and posted it on my cube at work. I showed it to one of my coworkers who, of course, didn't get it. So I read it aloud (I knew that education would be useful someday). It's a lot more enjoyable that way. I recommend everybody give it a try.

There's something I've been wanting to post about, but it'd be a major violation of Tony P's Rule #5, so I'll hold off for now. Suffice it to say, I've been inspired to read Robert Jordan books.

I am one mysterious mofo.

OMG, the new Harry Potter flick comes out in only a few weeks! I knew I still had a reason to live.

Where do bad folks go when they die?

I received my brother's b-day present yesterday: a copy of Stiff by The Man, Tony Pierce. I burned through that shit like it was Harry Potter. Y'see, besides video game music, my other fetish is depictions of the Afterlife. So this book hit all my sweet spots. The basic "plot", if you can call it that (the structure doesn't really lend itself to labels like "plot" or "denouement" or "ending"), is our hero, Tony P, dies untimely and goes on a little spiritual journey led by Kurt Cobain. Think Divine Comedy, but written by a guy who's really into sex and rock 'n roll. And also way funnier. It's awesome. If your name is Mikey, you should definitely check it out, because there's lots of stuff about music thrown in there. Plus, it's awesome. Oh, and there's a collection of poems at the end of the deal that are also really cool. Did I mention it's awesome?

Thanks, bro. Good bookage.

Two-five represent

25, my friends. A quarter of a century. Half-way to thirty. Old enough to run for Congress.

...I think that's all I have to say about that.

The best and worst part about having a birthday is all the food. I might have mentioned that I'm trying to get in shape. Being bombarded with chocolate cakes and M&Ms and all other manners of refined sugar doesn't help so much with that. Eh, who am I kidding. Chocolate is my lord and master.

Looking at the clock, I realize that it's actually around this time exactly that I was emerging into the world from out the nether regions of my mother. There's your mental picture for the day.

...You're welcome.

I also found out that both Eminem and Wyclef Jean share my birthday, and are both 33 today. Thus proving once and for all that I am hella cool. Recognize.

Squeee!

As my brother could tell you, I kind of have a thing for video game music. So, needless to say, when I heard that there was this thing called Video Games Live, I was psyched. Then I found out it was only happening on the west coast, and I was saddened. But today, I just found out they're touring across the country ... including the Lou. Thursday, November 10 at the Pageant.

I literally squealed with joy.

Now, it would be nice if one of you people out there went with me, but if you don't, I'm going alone, bitches. Nobody will stand between me and the best concert in the history of concerts. Geek on!

Corn chips are no place for a mighty warrior

Okay, I know it's not particularly original to post a link to Homestarrunner, but the newest Teen Girl Squad actually made me hurt myself laughing. If you haven't already watched it -- especially if your name is Mikey -- you must do so forthwith. Even if you've never seen anything else on Homestarrunner. Although it might help to watch the other Teen Girl Squads first...there are only 10 of 'em.

Other things I've found recently on the interweb that make me laugh (and will make you laugh, too, unless you're a humorless bastard):

The new Joss Whedon project.

Do me. I can't really explain why this one makes me laugh. But damn.

Oh, and I've finally broken down and turned on word verification. Take that, ya fuckin' spammers.

Rock the abbey

So it turns out I did, in fact, get to sing in the concert. Yay! The acoustics in the abbey were awesome. And even though my voice cracked something fierce on the last note of the last song, it was a blast. And check this shit out -- they paid me to sing. Seriously. Now, we're not talking about a lot here, but enough to, say, buy a few 12-packs of your favorite beer. Or to buy a lifetime supply of Pabt's Blue Ribbon. Man, I tell ya, if I could get paid enough to make a living doing this, I would totally quit my job today. Now I just need to become a rockstar like Mikey. Or maybe just a backup singer. I could play the cowbell and do some awesome dance moves while he sings "Viking's Funeral". Or I could just be a roadie. That would be pretty cool, too.

Unfortunately, the director told me I won't be singing in the next concert. Some other tenor dude is going to be in the group for that one. But I may be back for concert #3, which features some medievel Christmas music. That'd be fun. This next concert involves the group singing with a children's choir, I believe. And -- special note of interest to you Copland fans -- another song by Copland. Something called "Las Agachadas" I believe. Those of you who speak Spanish, feel free to chime in with a translation. I think it has something to do with shaking and/or dancing.

Not enough hours in the day

Attention all my fellow St. Louisians: The Chamber Chorus is having its first concert this SUNDAY (Sunday, sunday...). 3:00 PM at the St. Louis Abbey, the shit goes down. By which I mean, some awesome classical music will be sung. And who knows? I might actually be among the folk singing. Come one, come all, and prepare to have your mind blown.

The bad side of all this singing is that I don't have enough time to do ... well, anything else. My entire day Saturday is going to be taken up by the dress rehearsal for the aforementioned concert. How's a guy supposed to fit in video games?

Whilst my brother was in town, he recommended (read: shoved into my hands) a book by Tom Robbins entitled Jitterbug Perfume. I'm still not that far along, but so far I've established that beets are somehow important in the grand scheme of things. I was really digging the section about Alobar, the king of some pre-Roman Germanic tribe, but then the narrative jumped to modern day. Which is a shame, because I've always found the ancient folk of the British Isles more interesting than some waitress in Seattle.

Suggestion to the powers-that-be at Bloggerland: How's about something that lets you view the most recent updates to one's blog? For example, when I logged in today, I noticed that my deal was last updated today, which I'm pretty sure means somebody commented on one of my posts. But I don't know which one. That makes me sad.

Star Trek VI: Death

So when my brother was in town this weekend (for my cousin's wedding), much of our time was spent discussing/watching movies. Part of the discussion/watching centered around Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. My brother thinks this is a decent movie. I ... disagree. Bad acting, shitty dialogue, and at the end, the entire cast actually poses for one of the final shots. Lame lame lame. And to top off the lameness, the subtitle makes no sense. One of the characters makes a toast at one point to "the undiscovered country". After a brief pause where people kind of don't know what he's talking about, he clarifies: "the future."

Okay, now, I may be an English geek, but surely I'm not the only one who realizes this is completely wrong. "The undiscovered country" is a line in Hamlet's "to be or not to be" speech. Here are the lines that immediately preceed it:

who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?

See what's going on here? "The undiscovered country" is death, not the future. My brother suggested this might be intended as irony, but the toast is made by this dude who is trying to spearhead negotioations between the Federation and the Klingons so that they'll all live in peace and be happy. So making a toast to death doesn't really make sense, ironic or not. Especially since Hamlet is talking about committing suicide. In his defense, though, the dude making the toast was himself a Klingon, so maybe he didn't quite catch what was going on. They're kind of dumb, you know.

And speaking of stupid movies, don't ever see "Ichi the Killer". It's fucking ridiculous. To give you an idea, the highlights include a dude who had his mouth widened (i.e., by cutting slits in his cheeks) but keeps his face together with piercings, and a torture scene involving shrimp tempura. Oh, and our hero killing people with uber-sharp razor blades in his shoes. As in, sharp enough to cut people in half. It is based off a manga, however, which I bet makes slightly more sense.